Husband and Wife Relationship

Topic 9.1 – Responsibilities of Husband and Wife in Christianity

Qualities of a Good Husband

• Leave his parents and cleave to his wife. (Genesis 2:23-24)
• Love his wife and show it. (Ephesians 5:22-33; Colossians 3:19)
• Understand, respect, and protect his wife. (1 Peter 3:7; Deuteronomy 6:6-7)

Qualities of a Good Wife

• Submit to her husband as the leader and head of their home. (Genesis 3:16; Ephesians 5:22; Titus 2:4-5)
• Leave her parents to join her husband. (Genesis 2:24)
• Be cheerful, understanding, and kind. (Proverbs 25:24; 27:15)
• Be loyal to her husband. (Proverbs 31:10, 12, 27-29)

Topic 9.2 – Husband and Wife Relationships in Christianity and Other Religions

Zambian Traditional Belief

• The wife is often seen as the husband’s property.
• The wife is not consulted on family matters.
• The wife does most of the manual labor.

Hinduism

• The husband loves and cares for his wife and family.
• The wife submits to and honors her husband.

Islam

• The husband loves his wife because they are united as one.
• The wife submits to her husband, but not as a slave.

Christianity

• The husband loves, respects, and cares for his wife.
• The wife loves and obeys her husband.
• The wife is considered equal to her husband before God, but the husband is the head of the family.

Topic 9.3 – The Biblical Teaching on Adultery and Fornication

Adultery

• Definition: A sexual affair between two people when at least one is already married.
• Relevant Scriptures:
• Exodus 20:14 – "You shall not commit adultery."
• Malachi 2:14-15 – God hates adultery.
• Leviticus 20:10 – Adultery is punishable by death.
• John 8:1-11 – Jesus forgives an adulteress but tells her to sin no more.
• Matthew 5:27-28 – Jesus teaches that lust is equivalent to adultery.

Fornication

• Definition: A sexual affair between unmarried people.
• Relevant Scriptures:
• 1 Corinthians 6:18 – Flee from sexual immorality.
• Ephesians 5:5 – Fornication is not fitting for God’s people.
• 1 Thessalonians 4:3-7 – God’s will is for sanctification and avoiding sexual immorality.

Topic 9.4 – Adultery and Fornication in Christianity and Other Religions

Zambian Tradition

• Adultery is generally forbidden, but in some cases, it may be allowed:
• A man may sleep with his dead brother’s wife to ensure children for the dead brother.
• In rare cases, adultery may be allowed to prove manhood.
• There are various taboos to prevent fornication, but elders sometimes allow it before marriage.

Hinduism

• Both adultery and fornication are forbidden.

Islam

• Adultery is punishable by stoning.
• Many Muslim marriages require the woman’s virginity to be proven.
• Fornication is prohibited.

Christianity

• Both adultery and fornication are sins.
• Offenders may be excommunicated from the fellowship of the church.

Topic 9.5 – Polygamy and Divorce in the Bible

Polygamy

• Definition: Having more than one wife.
• Example of Solomon: Solomon had many wives, which led him away from God. (1 Kings 11:1-8)
• Relevant Scriptures:
• Matthew 19:5-6 – Jesus affirms marriage as between one man and one woman.
• 1 Kings 11:1-8 – Solomon’s many wives led him astray.

Divorce

• Definition: The dissolution of a marriage.
• Biblical View: Divorce is forbidden, but an exception is made for sexual immorality.
• Relevant Scriptures:
• Matthew 1:18-25 – The engagement between Joseph and Mary was binding and required divorce due to Mary’s pregnancy.
• Deuteronomy 24:1-4 – Moses’ allowance for divorce in cases of “uncleanness.”
• Matthew 5:31-32; 19:3-9 – Jesus explains that divorce should only be allowed for marital unfaithfulness.
• Malachi 2:14-16 – God hates divorce.
• Matthew 19:8 – Moses allowed divorce due to the "hardness of people’s hearts."

Topic 9.6 – Polygamy and Divorce in Other Religions

Zambian Tradition

• Polygamy: Widely practiced and still fairly common.
• Divorce: Allowed, commonly due to inability to produce children.

Hinduism

• Polygamy: Not practiced.
• Divorce: Forbidden.

Islam

• The Quran allows a man to have up to 4 wives if he can support them.
• Polygamy was practiced historically to spread Islam and prevent adultery.
• Divorce: Allowed in cases of adultery.

Topic 9.7 – Biblical Standards of Self-Control and Sexual Morality

Marital Disputes

• Common causes: inability to have children, incompatibility, and pressure from relatives.

Christian Standards for Sexual Behavior

• No sex before marriage. (2 Timothy 2:22)
• No unfaithfulness after marriage. (Hebrews 13:4)
• 1 Peter 4:2-5 – Living for God, not for sin.
• Mark 7:20-23 – Evil comes from the heart, including sexual immorality.
• Homosexuality is a sin. (1 Corinthians 6:9)
• Ephesians 5:3-5 – Avoid sexual immorality, impurity, and greed.
• Proverbs 26:20 – Avoid gossip and sinful behaviors that lead to conflict.

Topic 9.8 – The Importance of the Family in Christianity

The Role of the Family in Society

• The family is the foundation of society, and strong families lead to a strong community.
• The Bible teaches that parents should guide and nurture their children in the faith. (Deuteronomy 6:6-7)
• Families are responsible for providing emotional, moral, and financial support for each other. (1 Timothy 5:8)
• Christianity emphasizes the importance of unity, love, and respect within the family. (Colossians 3:18-21)

Christian Teachings on Marriage and Family

• Marriage is a sacred union between a man and a woman, intended to reflect Christ’s relationship with the Church. (Ephesians 5:22-33)
• The husband and wife are expected to love and respect one another. (1 Corinthians 7:3-5)
• Children are a gift from God and should be raised in the faith. (Psalm 127:3-5)
• Families are encouraged to spend time in prayer, Bible study, and worship together. (Joshua 24:15)

Topic 9.9 – The Challenges Facing the Family Today

Modern-Day Family Challenges

• Breakdown of traditional family structures, with increasing rates of divorce and single-parent households.
• Increased materialism and the pursuit of career over family life.
• Rising numbers of children growing up in homes with little or no Christian guidance.
• Peer pressure and cultural influences promoting non-Christian values.
• Challenges of balancing work, school, and family life in the digital age.

Solutions from a Christian Perspective

• Encouraging strong, loving marriages that reflect Christ’s love.
• Prioritizing family time and making it a space for spiritual growth.
• Helping children to build strong moral values based on the Bible.
• Promoting Christian teachings on marriage, family, and relationships in society.
• Building a community of faith to support struggling families.